E. G. Bella

Hello and happy Wednesday!

I have a bit of a different post today, to announce that I’m going to be taking the next couple of weeks off from my blog. I know no one is holding their breath waiting for my posts, haha, but it still feels nicer to let you know before I drop off the face of the earth.

This is a last-minute decision, but I believe it’s a necessary one right now. I had posts planned for the remainder of April, but none of them are finished, so I’m going to wait and use them in May.

The full reason behind this is complicated, but the simple version is this: I’m horrible at having realistic expectations. At all times, my writing to-do list (which is just my list of things to get done outside of working full-time, youth group, and family obligations) is long, and I rarely get more than half the things done. Some days, I hardly do anything.

I want to stop here and say from the beginning that my intention behind this post isn’t to whine. Life is busy for everyone, and many people are battling far harder things than I am right now. I know this, and I know that I’ve been very blessed to be where I’m at.

I’m simply worn out. There’s a reason my growth word for 2022 is balance. This is one of my many attempts at learning that, and though it might sound silly, it’s a big step for me. It’s difficult for me to acknowledge that I just can’t do everything I want to, or that I feel like I should.

I also can’t do as much as I could a couple of years ago. Seasons of life have changed, and it’s good, as the Lord’s behind the changes. But I’ve been trying to hold myself to a 2020, freshly-graduated, home-most-the-time level of productivity, when I’m now in a 2022, working-full-time, rarely-home-a-whole-day season of life. And that’s okay.

Between physical struggles and busyness, I just can’t keep up with my old standards, and the constant discouragement of ‘failing’ at my old goals doesn’t help anything. Thankfully, God’s teaching me – and I’m slowly learning – that if what I’m trying to do is not what He wants, then I shouldn’t even be trying. Of course I’m going to burn out in the process.

Mentally, I’ve been feeling very stretched thin for a while, and now it’s affecting me worse physically again, enough that I know I’m supposed to step back for a little bit and work some things out. To take time to reevaluate and catch up on some things I know I’m supposed to focus on.

I usually only have the time and energy to focus on one main writing area after work. Lately, there’s been blogging, lesson planning, platfrom ‘stuff’, beta-reading, and fiction writing. Usually in that order too. For the past couple of months, I’ve kept thinking that if I can just make enough progress in the first areas, I’ll finally be able to get to the last ones.

But, unfortunately, that just doesn’t ever seem to happen right now. I’ve been able to keep up with blogging, just finished lesson planning, and have done a mediocre job with platform building, but I still have some beta-reading commitments to honor, and then finally I’d like to work on Cabin Girl again. My poor, neglected book child, haha.

My goal has been to have Cabin Girl published by June and at my current rate, that’s definitely not going to happen. But I really want it to happen. I miss working on Cabin Girl, and there are so many wonderful, supportive people that have been patiently waiting to help me with the launch process.

So my aim with stepping away from the blog for a little bit is two-fold:

1. To take the time I usually spend on blog posts and make some good progress with Cabin Girl. Definitely enough that I can send out a proper update to my street team soon, and figure out a realistic publishing timeline. I’m very ready for this novel to be out into the world – now I just need to make sure it’s as ready as I am! We’ve been so close for so long.

2. To take a step back and reevaluate what I should actually expect from myself in each writing area right now. Where should I be focusing my attention? How much time do I realistically have, and what should I aim to accomplish with that time? What’s not so important? I want to make sure I’m being a godly steward with my time and energy.

I’ll still be around and responding to messages, comments, and emails, so please don’t hesitate to reach out if you want! You just won’t be seeing my posts popping up so frequently in your feed for a little while.

Thank you, as always, for being so supportive, so patient, and so understanding. Like I said, as silly as it may seem, this is a difficult thing for me to do, and yet, I think taking the break and giving myself permission to set other things aside and work on my fiction again is going to be very worth it.

Happy belated Easter, and have a blessed rest of April, friends. See you in May!

“Come to me, 
all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest. 
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. 
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30 _^NIV)

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